How do I start...
Well let's regress to the end of 2019, which will make it easier to fling back to the present. 2019 was a bittersweet year, that's as lightly as I can put it. The last month being a typhoon of emotions, thoughts and memories, alone feeling like a whole year all in one month. Losing a beloved one and marrying my best friend a couple of days a part, something out of comprehension and difficult to fathom. You always presume that your parents live on besides you, oblivious to the idea of them leaving you when your life is just beginning, adulthood.
BITTER
Losing my dad is an unimaginable and heart-wrenching pain that I am constantly reminded of every single day. Recently a loss of another legend in this world Kobe (terrible sorry for the loss and condolences to his family), automatically like a flood rushing through, reminded me of the emotions and pain of losing your loved one. How things can change so drastically with a click of a finger, your world can turn into a spiral that whizzes you around, landing you face first into darkness and emptiness. As you sit idly you begin to envision tiny specs of lights floating around and with a gentle touch you whoosh into memories you had no recollection of previously. Though, for some reason you're reminiscing so clearly of these old experiences you had with your now lost loved one. You hold on so tight to them, with such firm grip, because all you have now is memories and experiences. THAT is what we so call LIFE. Experiences and memories.
Grateful to have experienced my dads presence, energy and aura in the little time that I was gifted, that was what was written and for me to encounter. Coming to terms with that will be a strenuous challenge but I have to accept. A bitter taste that will never quite leave the mouth.
SWEET
Commencing 2020 with my best friend alongside has been somewhat extraordinary, a feeling of solace and comfort that uplifts me when I can't get quite up. There will be an eternal gratitude for my dad being a part of mine and H nikkah (marriage ceremony), an unforgettable experience that will live on for the both of us. The thought of my dad witnessing one of his children marry before parting us in this world is a drop of sweetness that balances the bitter taste.
Catapulting us back into the present, I am now a married woman- does it feel any different? I wouldn't say so except I now have an incredible life long best friend along my journey. Our journey. Living arrangements for the both us are not of the norm as of yet, as we both live with our families at the moment. The goal for this year is to get settled into our own little place.
Speaking of goals, respectfully passing on the whole proposition of New Year resolutions (they never resonated with me). Throughout the year I like to set myself goals to attain, enumerating new ones along the way or disregarding some completely as you evolve over time. Of course this now being a new decade and all, I thought why not share a few that have been slowly baking over the months and additional's that have been sprinkled on.
1. READ A BOOK A MONTH
Flopping a substantial amount last year with this although, I did get through a few books, it just wasn't enough for what I had in mind. Considering reading is a hobby of mine you would think I could get through a library but unfortunately time and adulthood like to smack you in the face occasionally. Setting the goal of AT LEAST a book a month and if extras along the way, well you've hit yourself a gold mine girl!
(As we're hitting the end of the year- currently and almost finished the book 'You do you' by Sarah Knight).
2. HEALTH- DIET AND EXERCISE
A pretty hefty one on the list, not to mention a proposition to be acknowledged all years of your life not just one! Changing over to the Vegan lifestyle over two years ago, which has had a tremendous positive impact on my health so far. The feeling of being able to attain a higher level of an even cleaner diet has been something I would love to mover further with.
Incorporating more raw plant based foods in my life style especially fruits being a target.
Regarding exercise, I have always struggled in this department but one I have always reached out to and found solace in, is Yoga. Joining a class or gym is top of the list... need to keep that heart racing and blood pumping.
3. DRIVING
The hope of driving into 2021 has been a long lived dream that I've been trying to talk myself into every year since hitting that 18 years mark ha!. Appalling that I am now 25 and still suffering in the hands of public transport, delayed half an hour-hour trains something I would love to happily sit out of and instead cruise by in a warm comforting vehicle.
Having said that, the thought of being behind the wheel on the road with other drivers riles up my anxiety immensely. Pushing myself next month to book a lesson and ride my way through the levels of anxiousness (it's the only way I will be able to overcome it). Wish me luck!
4. VENTURING INTO HOBBIES OUTSIDE OF WORK
The workaholic that's in me is most likely screaming 'NOOOO' right now but girl shove over, creativity isn't just for work. I have to constantly remind myself that as grateful as I am for the fact that a hobby of mine became a full-time career, there's a life beyond it.
There is nothing better than the feeling of a paintbrush gently smothering the canvas with its colourful textured paint goodness bringing life to a vision that sits idly in mind waiting to be unravelled.
Getting back to my high school roots I really enjoyed painting and well art overall. Most certainly getting my Mona Lisa on...
Reaching for my dying hobbies from my younger self here, bike riding and swimming are two that I want to dive back into (no pun intended or was it...). As my older self has well hit that foggy memory stage and can't get herself to hop back on a bike and ride into the sunset... yet. Re-learning these two sets of skills will most assuredly come in handy.
5. MORE SELF LOVE ESP TOWARDS SKIN
Self-explanatory, self pampering has taken a hit and well a little less loving. Making that extra effort towards my skin to at least once a month get myself booked in for a facial if not a home facial.
6. SAVING & LESS SPENDING
Hi my name is Amira and I'm a shopaholic. It can unfortunately hit that point at times, a very unnecessary and unhealthy habit that I'm aware of and going to pull myself back to the good side with it.
Giving myself a limit to spend a month and an amount to put aside. This also stemming from the talks of sustainability in fashion as of right now, a campaign I am definitely getting on board with. Leading the road towards thrifting, revisiting my wardrobe more often than so, and sustainable fashion/lifestyle.
More styling and less buying.
That's it from me in regards to goals I am currently working on and working towards, not necessarily putting them all out there but a rough a few. Before I leave you here in the hopes you have reached the very end of this whirlwind of words. I strongly put out there that whatever it is that you're trying to accomplish, go for it and reach the moon followed by those twinkling and beaming stars. One thing I have taken from my very own experience, which you can consider impressively mundane... Life is f*cking short. As monotone as that sounds it's believably and outright true.
Cherish those precious times with loved ones, reach the stars and beyond, truly do what makes you happy.
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