I really do feel like I have been neglecting my blog recently and not that it's intentional of course! It's just down to the fact I have been so busy working on projects and giving more time to my work work. Although this sounds like I am coming across that I am moaning about this in NO WAY am I, I am FOREVER grateful for the endless opportunities I have been given. The fact I get to do what I love full time and it be my career I can't ever thank enough for!
Just sometimes I get so consumed with creating content for other brands and projects I forget to create content for me and projecting what's going on in my own mind. It can be quite draining creating for others that in some way you feel like you have used it all up and don't have any for yourself. A weird way of thinking maybe?
So whenever work gets a little quiet, I give myself a little break and then I get back to creating my own stuff. It feels so good when I do, sort of like an accomplishment because you really do forget how good it is to express yourself and showcase your creativity without limits.
Though something I have been struggling with recently is productivity, I suppose this is a topic everyone seems to wrestle with. Mine in particular is with, how do you know when is enough? We are always told 'it's okay take your time, baby steps and all' but when do we realise that at some point you're just taking the piss and being damn right lazy? I struggle to find the balance, I either go mad crazy and over do myself that I have zero energy and pretty much fall ill. Or I simply just don't have it in me, the motivation and the want to create anything or do anything. I think productivity and motivation play hand in hand with this. Right now I'm in the 'don't have it in me' phase. It can be quite exhausting getting yourself out of this rut but I feel you just have to pick your damn self up and get on with things, maybe divert your interest to other things you hardly do. Mine is usually art or reading, this really gets me in the mood and really assists with new ideas. This going back to maybe one of the reasons why I have been neglecting my blog and Youtube. Yeah I know I had said I have been busy with work and all but that's just an excuse.. no matter what you can always make time.
Time has always been a weird concept for me, you're probably thinking what on earth is this girl on about?! In all honesty it really has been, I have always been the type of person to just go off how I feel (I mean not practical in this day and age) but that's the type of person I am. So for example when I feel like this certain project needs more of my attention I will give it that amount not in a numerical factor but until I feel I can't do anymore for it. Slightly digressing here but what I am trying to point out here is time I would consider boundless there shouldn't be restrictions on how slow or fast you do things as long as you feel in mind and body, you feel well. This steering to the direction of something else I wanted to discuss which was Self-love.
Self-love is a subject I have always wanted to project and encourage especially in todays time as I feel it is something individuals struggle with. However what does Self-love really mean? I mean is there only one meaning to this term or could you say it's subjective? I think they way I term self-love and what I consider loving one self to be, can be very different to how someone else may think or feel it to be. Though what I do know is there is just not ONE way of attaining this level of freedom- to love oneself. To accept and embrace the good AND the bads of one self. By embracing the flaws of an individual I mean still working on bettering one's character and noticing that these are flaws and a part of me and something I can either better in or accept. That's why were all so different because we go through different paths of life, experiences and learn new lesson which shapes us in to the characters and people we are.
What I do want to get out there though is self-love isn't what you see in these cliche movies where they get dumped by a guy and they're all like 'omg now is the time to focus on me.' They start doing activities they wouldn't usually do but would have love to have done such as, mountain climbing or something extreme or taking art classes and all of that. I mean yeah a bit of that does come to play but there is so much more to it. And yes I was one of those girls who would watch movies like this and be like yaaa that's how ya do it girls! *cries* Bridget Jones I love ya but cmonnnn! Self-love is GROWING, you're growing to be the better version of you and this is something that will carry on for the rest of your life. It's learning more about you and what's best for you. It's a journey a never ending one but I will always say enjoy every bit of it and really feel how you're feeling- like feel the emotions you're intuition and listen to what you mind, body and heart has to say.
Love overall is a notion that I think till this day majority have not figured out but self-love is something that is right in front of us. Maybe complicated as f*** but if we really feel and listen to ourselves we're on the right tracks. If we don't give the right type of love to ourselves then how on earth are we eligible to give this to someone else. They say what you give out is what you get in return which yes I do believe. But also what you're feeling about yourself is what you attract to yourself and in return you project back to the world. Which all in the end creates this vicious cycle that keeps on going round and round.
So be your Unapologetic self, embrace those amazing qualities you do have and don't sell yourself short as they would say. Stop apologising for who you are and what you would like to be. As for those flaws accept and work around it find YOUR way. Learn to flourish and be better you everyday. Remind yourself that you were placed on this earth for a reason and that's up to you to decide what that reason is. Learn to love you and when it's right you'll be able to project back the same love around you.
Modestmira x
