Monday, 15 April 2019

Outgrowing your own city ...

Born and raised in Manchester, 24 years spent in this tiny ol'city. Friendships and family affairs grew but also deserted me, progressing from primary school up until graduating in university, endured the pain of heartbreak, have loved and lost, explored every nooks and cranny of the city, wined and dined but also experienced the "lovely" afterparty of a dodgy take away, lost myself but also regained acknowledgement of who I was once again, home with nature and the list can go on..

Undoubtedly Manchester will and always be my home and in no way will I reason with that. It's a fact. However, sometimes as you get older you begin to outgrow the things you once profoundly cherished, for instance my love for Edward in twilight. How I never realised that Jacob (Taylor Lautner) was the real hottie is beyond me, in all honesty I just like to slowly sweep *starts looking around and whistling* the whole twilight saga under the rug.. the movies did not do a single justice to the books in my opinion urgh!
Slightly digressing topic there, I have for a while felt I no longer belong in my own city. More or less, bygone my expiration date and it's time for me to trod along, in the hopes I find attachment of home where rain isn't the only forecast to be told. Crazy this may sound to people but it's an undeniable feeling that you can't overpass, it's slowly but surely making it increasingly harder for me to find the spark I once had for my creativity.
The urge for adventure in a town you have explored more than many times can be very exhausting and discouraging. Its almost the feeling of living a real life 'Before I fall' movie, where the main character has to relive a particular scenario of her life until she gets it right. Okay quite the exaggeration (a little too good at it, if I must point out) but who doesn't want to think their life is a movie of such. Whilst the point driven from the context above is that I'm moving towards a life that is repetitive, something I have tried to circumvent from a young age. Hence why I have never grew fond on the whole perception behind working a 9-5.

Others may suggest, considering this ideology a challenge to find new treasures of hidden love within your city. Quite frankly, you do stand corrected with this point, however as a content creator it's required as part of the "job" to seek out those concealed riches of the city you're based in. Spending three years creating content in and around a small city, you begin to fall short and just have this profound longing to seek something new and untouched.

Although, the thought behind packing my bags, saying my farewells and trodding along towards the sunset where the endless possibilities await for me at the horizon. Its. just. not. that. simple.

Well hot damn. NEWS FLASH.

When stumbling on the realisation that it can't be that simple for myself of course, I slowly went through a downward spiral of lost hope. Not that it's the end of the world, however try living in a city which you feel no belonging to. Originally starting this blogging journey through passion and drive, that gradually diminished. Solely for the reason that it was becoming repetitive, visiting the same places once again and this perpetual routine, that I have always tried to eschew.
On the search for an alternative, I thought travelling could do me some good. You may consider this a duh moment but in actual fact there and then I booked tickets to Barcelona. I may not be able to live out the dream of packing my bags and setting foot on a more foreign ground and calling it home as of yet. Besides, who said a temporary fix couldn't do the job!

My momentary four day trip to Barcelona felt like a life time and I savoured every moment of it. It was exactly what I needed, soaking in the unfamiliarity of a city, picturesque views and seeking adventures that longed to be pursued. It was as if taking in a long gasp of fresh air, which ignited my flare for creativity once again.

Loving every single minute of my time there made me come to realise that this needed to be of regularity. To travel is where I'll grow.

I may not be able to carry out my plans of uprooting elsewhere as of yet, Although, I am more than happy to experience and explore the many cultures and the obscurity of ones city or country until that day makes an appearance. If anything it'll better my own understanding of suitability and where I could possibly call my next home.

For now I'll appreciate the town I call home currently. Though, when that time arrives for my feet to firmly set ground on that particular place, my heart will feel that longing sensation of home undoubtedly.

© ModestMira

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